Welcome to a new era of begging.
I walked in to McAllisters the other day and ordered the club. They said they took credit cards and thus I paid with one. They gave me a receipt and everything seemed normal UNTIL... I noticed there was a blank space and beside it read the word TIP.
Why would I possibly give a tip for some ditzy girl to take my order and fill up a cup with iced tea? I can order the exact same way at McDonalds and not feel a guilt trip like I owe someone 15% for a 30 second verbal interaction.
It's not even paying the money that is so bothersome. It's the fact that I know the girl looks at the receipt right after I walk away and she sees that I gave her $0 in tip. Then she flicks me off while I'm not looking and wipes the sole of her shoe on my sandwich. And finally she tells the guy behind me in line that I'm a cheap scuzzle bucket mcgee.
I'm boycotting the laziest way of begging that I have ever seen.
10/11/2005
CAGE MATCH: Dr. Pepper vs. Dr. Extreme
For some reason, you have to scroll down a little to see the graph. Sorry. Think of the white space as a break. From life. Enjoy.
Since there was no factor of flavor involved in this cage match, the often overlooked and under-appreciated Dr. Extreme comes out as the victor. Take that you false-advertising, pepperless beverage bastard.
| Price | Brand Recognition | Certified Degree | Other | |
| Dr. Pepper | A costly but refreshing soda | Unless you're Hellen Keller, you've probably seen and heard of Dr. Pepper | Didn't graduate from high school but forged a doctorate | Mysteriously lacks pepper... |
| Dr. Extreme | Cheaper than slave labor | Obscurely lurks in the grocery store aisles, just like that kid who never gets picked for the kickball team | Actually got a degree from a community college | Thinks his name is cool enough to qualify for the X-Games |
| Winner | Dr. Extreme | Uh... Dr. Pepper | Dr. Extreme | Dr. Extreme |
Since there was no factor of flavor involved in this cage match, the often overlooked and under-appreciated Dr. Extreme comes out as the victor. Take that you false-advertising, pepperless beverage bastard.
10/10/2005
Fat Dude
We made the 500 hits mark! Hoorah.
I'm doing a victory/rain dance right now to celebrate. But as promised, here is a picture of a fat guy in a bathing suit. Could life get any better?
I'm doing a victory/rain dance right now to celebrate. But as promised, here is a picture of a fat guy in a bathing suit. Could life get any better?
10/09/2005
CHiPs & EROT
We had quite a crazy show this past Thursday night. CHiPs performed with Ebony Readers/Onyx Theater in a joint effort to promote race relations. Whether this actually happened it still up for debate... but it was definitely a fun show.
Compared to our first show in Carrboro, this was an absolute home run. The crowd was really involved and seemed to enjoy both the improv comedy and EROT's slam poetry. If I can get a copy of a couple of the works that EROT did, I will absolutely post it.
My favorite moment: I spanked a "bootylicious" girl on stage.
The most scared moment of my life: In a dinner sketch where racial putdowns kept getting more and more elevated, I made a comment about drugs and prison that I immediately regretted. The line-crossing move didn't seem to make enemies, but that was just lucky.
EROT is an amazing group, so if you get a chance to see them on campus - DO IT!
Compared to our first show in Carrboro, this was an absolute home run. The crowd was really involved and seemed to enjoy both the improv comedy and EROT's slam poetry. If I can get a copy of a couple of the works that EROT did, I will absolutely post it.
My favorite moment: I spanked a "bootylicious" girl on stage.
The most scared moment of my life: In a dinner sketch where racial putdowns kept getting more and more elevated, I made a comment about drugs and prison that I immediately regretted. The line-crossing move didn't seem to make enemies, but that was just lucky.
EROT is an amazing group, so if you get a chance to see them on campus - DO IT!
10/04/2005
Hate Preachers
"You're just an ignorant, little girl." This quote is exactly what I heard as I was walking by the pit today (he wasn't talking to me). A series of hate/religious preachers were out in full force today preaching the good word of God, which according to them is that we are all ignorant homosexuals who are going to hell for watching sports.
I kid you not when I tell you that the preacher to whom I previously referred was carrying a sign that read, "You make me sick!" and then listed the categories of people that he hated. He hated a lot of people. My favorites include the following:
Effeminate Culture
People Who Talk to Their Pets More Than God
Jews from the Synagogue of Satan
Computer Freaks
Dykes on Bikes
I don't even know what Dykes on Bikes means. I guess if you're a dyke on a unicycle, that's ok. A dyke on a scooter... no big deal. But if you are a God-forsaken dyke on a bicycle, you are forever damned in the fiery fury that is Hell.
I kid you not when I tell you that the preacher to whom I previously referred was carrying a sign that read, "You make me sick!" and then listed the categories of people that he hated. He hated a lot of people. My favorites include the following:
Effeminate Culture
People Who Talk to Their Pets More Than God
Jews from the Synagogue of Satan
Computer Freaks
Dykes on Bikes
I don't even know what Dykes on Bikes means. I guess if you're a dyke on a unicycle, that's ok. A dyke on a scooter... no big deal. But if you are a God-forsaken dyke on a bicycle, you are forever damned in the fiery fury that is Hell.
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